What I’m hearing from people
I’ve been reaching out to people and asking them the “Three Really” questions that help them open up, namely: “What are you really worried about?” which I repeat three times. What often comes out is:
- Am I (or are we) going to get through this?
- How am I (are we) going to get through this?
- How can I (can we) help others get through this?
When I have “crowd sourced” answers to these, here are some of the responses:
“Yes, we will, because we always have.”
“Say the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept what I can’t change; the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
“What it comes down to is living with life never being the same again. That means life is not over and different doesn’t necessarily even mean worse. We did it after 9/11, we’ve done it after having cancer, declaring bankruptcy, divorce.”
“People are overthinking that they are going to be one of the people who die from Covid-19, when in reality, as awful as the number is or will be, it is far less than the 150,000 people who die every day in the world. What is happening is that when people feel fearful or what is referred to as ‘free floating anxiety,’ it is human nature to attach it to a cause so that we can reassure ourselves that if we eliminate that cause, the anxiety will go away.” Hmm… makes sense to me.
“Listen to the most credible, clear, fact based and delivered calmly information from people like Dr. Fauci, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Governor Cuomo and ignore anybody in a leadership position who doesn’t communicate information in that way.”
“Ask myself before I go to bed each night, ‘What can I do or get done tomorrow that will in some way – no matter how small – increase any sense of control I have and prevent me from isolating so much that I become a prisoner of my worst thoughts? What changes in my behavior can I practice consistently so that they are closer to becoming habits that become more natural?”
“Just asking people, ‘what are you really worried about?’ three times, often helps them express their true fears and lessens them… and helps me, because I feel useful in helping people with that vs. dealing with my monkey brain.”
Here’s my favorite:
“1. Imagine it’s a year from now and we’re past the Coronavirus; 2. In looking back remember who I was most grateful to and what I was grateful to them about; 3. Beginning now, on a daily basis do unto others something that if they did that unto me, I would be grateful to them a year from now.” I think this has a great chance of reversing the all too tempting self-absorption that can spiral and make our fears worse.
What are you hearing other people are really worried about?
What are you really worried about?
What have they and you come up with to deal with it?
