Self-esteem should not be confused with self-confidence. Self-confidence is believing in your competence and your ability to do something, whereas self-esteem is believing in your goodness. You build self-esteem the old fashioned way, you e-a-r-n it— through dedication, effort, and sacrifice in the service of others. When you have developed it, your reward is to feel whole and satisfied. Self-esteem is crucial to how much or how little contentment you feel at the end of your life.
One of the causes of low self-esteem is feeling that despite sometimes appearing generous and acting generously towards the world deep down you mainly care about yourself and are selfish, lack real goodness and therefore are not worthy or deserving of success or happiness. Furthermore, knowing that down deep you mainly/only care about yourself can contribute to the “imposter syndrome” especially if you have done a good job of masquerading this to the world.
How worthy are you?
Score the following with: 1 = rarely; 2 = sometimes; 3 = frequently
- You raise and DON’T lower the self-esteem of others
- You sustain an effort outside of your comfort zone to help others as much or even before yourself
- You give the same effort to a fair decision that you disagree with as you do to something you agree with
- You ask for help or assistance
- You quickly and sincerely thank someone who has helped you.
- You quickly offer help without the other person having to ask for it
- You fully forgive and forget after you’ve been hurt and quickly move on
- You quickly recognize and earnestly apologize for your failures of commission or omission to people you have let down
- You enthusiastically and sincerely congratulate someone else on an achievement or good fortune
- You give much more to the world than you take from it
10 – 16 = You’re not worth very much. You feel much more entitled to things than you actually deserve. You’re more of a taker than a giver and come from a feeling of scarcity.https://7af067785c2ca9c0aae673c6d8e077d4.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html
17 – 24 = You are under the belly of the bell shaped curve with the majority people. You could certainly improve, but you are also certainly a decent person.
25 – 30 = You are a class act. People are fortunate to have you in their life and blessed to have you as a friend. You are an optimist, a giver and come from a feeling of abundance.
Now for the real challenge. Ask people who care about you and want you to be the best you can be to candidly rate you. And if it their rating is lower than yours, ask them to give you specific examples of where you can improve. Then THANK them (because it’s gutsy for them to be candid) and ask them if you can check with them informally every month what they have observed and then to make further suggestions on how to improve even further.