Wouldn’t You Agree? #57 Why Do Marriages End?

Q: Why do marriages end?

A: Marriages end not because you stop loving each other, but because you can’t stop hating each other.

Wouldn’t You Agree?

Please share your comments below.

Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: , ,

4 Responses to “Wouldn’t You Agree? #57 Why Do Marriages End?”

  1. Bob Blais Says:

    I don’t agree. I think a marriage can end because it’s not working for other reasons. My wife and I are going through that decision right now, and it’s partially based upon what is enriching for each of us, and there’s a lack of overlap. We love each other, but we want what’s best for each other, and we want what’s best for ourselves. Sometimes staying together won’t do both.

  2. Valentin Leon Says:

    I agree that it can be because they’re focusing on the negative things the other has, I’d add that it can be because of difference in values or because infidelities or lack of nurturing the relationship … I still believe there’re more reasons.

  3. Elisa Says:

    I don’t think you can truly hate someone whom you loved. Sometimes one or both partners just wake up and find that they either no longer know each other (and at least one is not willing to find out) or they have discovered TOO MUCH about their spouse – major values inconsistent with their own.

  4. Mark Says:

    I know “hate” is a strong word and the reality may be that “mature” people don’t hate the other person, but it may also be true that people “hate the feeling” of having lost one or more of the six foundational pillars of a marriage that I wrote about in my book, “The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again… and Stay There.” Hate may still be too strong for some people, but one cannot long stay in a state of hating anything without taking some action, whereas people sadly may remain — unhappily — in a relationship in which they feel frustrated or disappointed for a long time.

    I identified those 6 pillars as forming the acronym CREATE, i.e Chemistry, Respect, Enjoyment, Acceptance, Trust, Empathy. The book talks about how to have conversations that bring those back, since they all seem to be naturally present when we fall in love.