Wouldn’t You Agree? #39 The Best Response to a Manipulative Person
Q: What is the most concise and best response to someone who blames, complains, whines, makes excuses or feels sorry for themselves?
A: “Okay, I understand. Now what?” (said calmly and respectfully) … then duck.
Let them vent what they have to say next, remain quiet and calm and when they finish say, “That seems like a lot for you to have to fix so I’d suggest you get started sooner rather than later. What’s your first step?” And then be quiet and calm. If they continue to vent say, “I think I’ll be going and I’ll check back with you later to see what you’ve come up with.” Then get up calmly and leave.
BTW if you want to win friends and influence bosses, always follow a “what” that you bring to a boss with an answer or solution to “now what?” that is relevant, pertinent, makes sense, is doable and that requires little more than a rubber stamp and when possible triggers an admiring and appreciative nod from them for your initiative, ingenuity and resourcefulness. On the other hand, if you really want to alienate your boss — and have it show up in your next performance review — try to dump your problem and responsibility on them followed by a look of helplessness.
Wouldn’t you agree?
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