Wouldn’t You Agree? #30 Marriages Wouldn’t Fail If?

Q: Marriages wouldn’t fail if?

A: Men would realize and accept that the vast majority of women are crazy and women would realize and accept that the vast majority of men are babies.

Wouldn’t you agree?

P.S. Sadly the minority of  women who are not crazy and men who are not babies, are often a tad boring. So often the choice is be bored to tears or driven to exasperation. Who said life was fair?

P.P.S. Regarding the vast majority of men being  babies, I plead “no contest.”

Please share your thoughts in the comments sections.

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8 Responses to “Wouldn’t You Agree? #30 Marriages Wouldn’t Fail If?”

  1. Margaret Ost Says:

    You must be quoting my mother for the first.

    When I met the director of “Miss Congeniality” and “Grumpy Old Men,” I said, “When ‘Men’ came out I asked my mother if she was going to see it, she loves comedies.

    ‘”I live with one, I don’t have to see it.”‘ That seems to be the consensus. Women get excited or critical about many things. We do not have the recently discovered “geniality gene” men have. Men used to spend time with each other as did women. The great tales of people like John Adan’s and Abigail didn’t involve as much time together as people are expected to put in today with their spouses. And there is less physical labor so people aren’t sleeping as soundly, so have more time to be critical.

    Or, as attributed to a pediatrician, “If men taught their babies to speak, they’d be mute.”

  2. Darrell Janssen Says:

    Hi Mark,

    This is one area I have studied both in school and in real life. The area is differences in people. Differences between men and women’s thinking is fascinating.
    I’ve been married for 40 years to the same lovely woman. It would be a lie to say we never argued or fought.
    I believe that being honest and talking issues out (arguing or otherwise) is an absolute must for sustainability in marriage.
    But…we need to just accept our significant other for what they are. THIS IS THE KEY TO ANY RELATIONSHIP! Don’t try to make others in your image.

  3. Mark Says:

    Thank you Margaret and Darrell,
    I am fortunate to have you share your thoughts and humor and wisdom with my readers.
    Best to you both,

  4. Mo Says:

    Hmmm, while I know you were cracking a joke, I would rather describe these differences a different way.
    And here I’m entirely following the view of Martin Ucik in his ground-breaking (yes!) book “Integral Relationships”.
    He suggests that men indeed are babies, or at least have emotional needs, but if men want to keep getting their most important thing in a relationship (do I really need to spell that out?) then they should make every effort NOT to emote around their partner.
    And Ucik suggests that women are not “crazy” as such, but very often express themselves with certain opinions in order to express feelings occurring at that moment. Such words should be taken by men as much more ephemeral expressions of a woman’s emotional state.
    While I am still in the testing phase of this very new approach for me, I recommend it, and my wife also agrees with this description of women.

  5. Cheryl Sharp Says:

    Well this at least explains why I choose to still be single. I am not interested in being any adult’s mother. Seriously, men. Do you really think that behaving like a pouting, whiny, self-absorbed infant inspires passion or respect? This doesn’t work for me. No Al Bundy’s, please.

    Some marriages need to fail–as they are not marriages at all. Wrap your head around that one. I would not advise anyone to accept their partners as they are when their “partners” are abusive, psychotic, chemical-dependent and otherwise incapable of a healthy relationship with themselves or others. These unhealthy people are babies–not the kind you can change.

    When you are arguing your point, you can figuratively knock a man down with a feather. Use a soft voice. Yes, this works.

    Accepting your partner as they are? Hopefully this one was figured out before you married them.

  6. Aaron Says:

    @ Cheryl Sharp:

    I agree completely with you on the “…some marriages need to fail line”. Some people for all their best intentions, do not belong together due to a lack of respect, trust and emotional vulnerability (or lack thereof). Thanks for sharing that.

  7. Jason c Says:

    People are together to heal and forgive and be patient and correct, sick people will be attracted to sick people, jumping from on sick person to the other does not help, and abandons the children,,,, If you have children devote your life to them, so we heal the next generation. And patiently correct your spouse as you do your children,,,, If they display anger,,, Calmly say,, wow, you have a lot of anger in you, then walk away… Refusing to yell back, is the beginning of adulthood, always correct the wrong emotional state in your partner, but it has to be done with calmness and firmness, without upset,,, this changes everything

  8. Tony Says:

    I agree with Jason. The sick attract the sick. I am currently going through some emotional healing from nasty past experiences that have marked me pretty bad. I, however, never realized it until my first marriage ended. I thought i was doing the right thing by moving on and getting involved with another person that was either as sick as I am or worst. She manipulated, controlled, and got to the point of hitting me once. But, I kept getting up and moving on. I lasted 5 years with this person until finally i realized that I was growing daily, becoming better, having an open mind to life. Yet, she was getting worst but kept telling me and making me feel that i was the problem. Finally, one day i woke and said NO, i am not the problem and left this relationship. Now i am single, happy, and trying to find myself, getting to know myself. I am doing this because i want to go into a relationship knowing that i will die next to this person. I know i will do everything in my power to love, respect, and cherish whomever comes into my life next. Though, i am not looking for anyone at the moment, i know she will come.