The Website of Dr. Mark Goulston

Usable Insight – Happy Father’s Day – This one’s a keeper


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Bearing a child makes you a mother or father;
Rearing a child makes you a mom or dad,
Understanding a child makes you a great parent.

Deep—and not so deep—inside most parents is the hope that they did a good job raising their children. I certainly include myself on that list. And when you get a sign that you have done so, there is no greater gift a parent can receive on Mother’s or Father’s Day. Here is such a gift that I received several years ago from my eldest daughter. What made it particularly special is that it didn’t occur on Father’s Day.

Hi Dad,

Last night I was walking around Manhattan as I often do with my friends talking about how confused we felt about our futures. And as frequently happens I said, “My dad said…” and as always happens, it made the conversation considerably better. I don’t know how many of my friends can say the same about their fathers. I am so lucky to have such a wise dad, even if he does live 3,000 miles away. See you in a few weeks.

Love, Lauren

I wouldn’t sell that note for a million bucks. And no matter how bad a day is, or how rude or annoying people are to me, or how little positive feedback I receive, I know that I matter—because there’s a piece of paper I carry in my wallet that says so.*

If you want to let your dad know that he matters, send a similar note to him this Father’s Day.

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14 Responses to “Usable Insight – Happy Father’s Day – This one’s a keeper”

  1. Douglas Schreiber Says:

    Mark: This one was an absolute keeper. No truer words were ever spoken and when you do the type of work that we do and see the amount of dysfunction there is among so many parents and children, you realize how lucky you are and how priceless that note is.

  2. Billy Pittard Says:

    Mark, that story gave me a lump in my throat. And so let me tell you now, I have been heard on many occasions to say “My friend Mark Goulston said…” and it made the conversation considerably better.

  3. Mark Goulston Says:

    You just gave me a lump in my throat and I’ve said exactly the same about you and I always send people to your reel.
    Thank you for your acknowledgment and even more for your friendship.

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