Usable Insight – America the Immature: It’s never too late to grow up
Thinking ahead requires using one’s head,
which contains an organ that few Americans seem to have much use for
nor know much how to use
Not getting the results, happiness or long term satisfaction in your career, relationships and life? Maybe you’re just immature.
How mature are you or someone you know?
The Maturity Index (TMI)
(Rate the following statements about yourself or your spouse or your grown children or your employees: 1 = rarely; 2 = sometimes; 3 = nearly always)
Thinking
- I pause before I speak
- I consider the consequences of my actions before I act
- I weigh the pluses and minuses of decisions before I make them
Planning
- I come up with long term goals
- I develop a plan for reaching those goals
- I develop a plan for dealing with potential derailers from staying on track to those long term goals
Accepting Consequences
- I believe the results that I see
- I accept non-begrudgingly the consequences of my decisions and actions rather than rejecting them
- I agree to deal with the consequences of my decisions and actions rather than fight them
Being Accountable
- I accept it is my responsibility to deal with the consequences of my decisions and actions
- I commit to actions to deal with the consequences of my decisions and actions
- I commit to a schedule for taking those actions and agree to further consequences of not following through on them by the agreed time
Scoring:
12 – 19: You’re highly immature - it’s nearly impossible for you to delay gratification and is impossible for you to willingly and calmly accept full responsibility for the consequences of your impulsive decisions. You tend to be a hostile, belligerent blamer and grudge holder. If left unchecked, you run the risk of feeling bitter at the end of your life.
20– 27: You’re immature – you can occasionally delay gratification and although you’re not happy about the negative consequences of your hasty actions, you don’t go ballistic. You’re not as hostile in your blaming, but you have a sizable unforgiving streak in your personality. At the end of your life, you run the risk of feeling depressed and unfulfilled.
28 – 36: You’re mature – your decisions are more guided by your core values which extend beyond your personal needs and wants to others and when things don’t work out, you’re disappointed, but you rarely blame others (even if they are at fault) and instead focus on fixing problems that arise, correcting your course and moving forward. You are the kind of person that people feel honored and privileged to know. At the end of your life, you have the possibility of feeling satisfied, fulfilled and of being respected, admired, appreciated and beloved as my mentor Warren Bennis is (and, “Yes,” I do know how lucky I am to have him as my mentor).
(c) 2010 Mark Goulston
If this test speaks to you or someone you care about or work with and you want to finally grow up so that you can achieve the long term success, happiness and peace of mind that mature people appear to have that immature ones don’t, contact Peter Winick to find out about Dr. Goulston’s talks, coaching and training programs.
A good first step is to check out Dr. Mark’s Amazon.com #1 best selling book, “Just Listen.” Why? Because mature people listen much more than they talk.
Tags: immaturity, mark goulston, maturity, maturity test
January 31st, 2010 at 11:55 am
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Thanks.
February 1st, 2010 at 11:37 pm
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February 2nd, 2010 at 12:55 am
Just Listen is an outstanding, brilliant piece of work. Listening, analyzing, and speaking thoughtfully are all connected to bring about solutions. i felt as if the thoughts in my brain were like musicians without a conductor. Mark, it was like hearing a symphony of thoughts in my head after reading your book. I don’t know if other people have gotten as much as I have from your book, but you have surely shown me how a discord of words and thoughts and feelings can be re-examined and used positively. Thanks.
February 2nd, 2010 at 8:19 am
Thank you for you generous and gracious comment. I’m so pleased that you found Just Listen so helpful. If you had a moment, I’d appreciate it if you could add your wonderful review to the reviews at amazon.com. Also, BTW, I am very pleased that Just Listen is being featured this month at Soundview Executive summaries.
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