As appearing in the January 29, 2012 Sunday Los Angeles Times Business Section:

1. Get good advisors - Prior to obtaining any money through signing bonuses or large contracts do your homework at it relates to advisors who do taxes, cash management, investment strategies, etc. This would include meeting at least three of each type of category of advisor. The problem with many athletes is that they allow their parents, friends, and spouses to do work that they were never trained to do and many times gets the athletes in trouble by not paying taxes, getting over-extended cash flow wise, or over-spending generally.
2. Don’t buy expensive assets first thing - Do not go out first thing after signing a contract and buy assets that are huge compared to the contract signed. Just because you have money for the first time doesn’t mean you have to spend it before you know all the ramifications of buying the assets.
3. It may not last forever - Athletes need to know where they truly stand on the spectrum of being a professional athlete. First step is signing as a professional. First contracts are usually a lot more money than an athlete has ever had and it may be the only contract that he or she ever gets. Depending on ability and health the athlete may never get anything beyond that contract so they need to think that way. They should analyze the contract and put money away so that he or she will have something should the worst happen. Each contract should be analyzed separately and the goals adjusted accordingly as each new contract is received.
4. There are sharks out there that will eat you – Many athletes when they start to make big money get inundated with proposals for investments from friends, business associates, and family. What the athletes don’t know that many of the documents that they sign commit them to much greater financial responsibility and liability than they have thought. For instance, the athlete thinks that he or she is investing $50K, but in reality they have personally guaranteed a loan for $500K. When the venture fails, the creditors come after the deep pockets of the professional athlete.
5. Delegate, don’t abdicate – One of the most important aspects of an athlete’s financial life is that he needs to be personally responsible for his own finances. This means that although he uses professionals to assist with investment planning, taxes, insurance, and accounting, the athlete should demand to know at all times where he stands on all aspects of his financial life. This requires at least quarterly meetings to assist the athlete to understand his own personal wealth situation.
6. Insurance can protect you - Professional athletes need to understand and accept that there are insurances available that can help them if something terrible happens. A professional athlete is usually very young and can get term life insurance at a very reasonable cost to protect his family if he should die. A more realistic scenario is that he may be disabled. Although it may seem expensive to get disability insurance, should an athlete become disabled, he will get paid according to the contract which could be to age 65. Many athletes think that because they have signed a two or three year deal and the team pays the contract if he is disabled, that there is no need to have disability insurance. What happens at the end of the contract? The athlete may not be able to play again.
7. Let your advisor be the bad guy - Many athletes don’t know how to say no to friends and family who are asking for money for all kinds of needs and wants. It is very difficult for an athlete, who cares about his family to say no, but the athlete cannot support everyone and he must limit who he is willing to take care of. So, let the advisor be a buffer between all the requests so they can be analyzed before an emotional decision is made. Otherwise, the athlete will not have enough to take care of himself in the long run.
8. A plan can make the difference – Just like the athlete who has mapped out a plan to become one of the best athletes in the world by putting together a training program and executing it, he too should map out a financial plan from the beginning of his athletic career throughout every stage of his career. If an athlete works the financial plan, knowing the risks at various stages, he will be much further ahead than the athlete who just goes out and buys whatever he wants whenever he wants. He should demand of his professionals that the goals are met, but it takes some discipline and willingness to stay to the plan for a long period of time.
9. Trust is earned not taken – Athletes are notorious for giving responsibility for their assets to professionals and business associates to safeguard for them. Unfortunately, many of these people have no vested interest in the athlete and look at what they can take while they are working with them. It takes time to earn trust and for the athlete to believe in the advisor. Once the advisor has done what he has promised, then trust is earned and a good, long term relationship can develop. An example of this would be an athlete who signs all his checks, although the professional is organizing them, printing them, and accounting for them. This gives the athlete the ultimate control to ask questions and make sure he or she knows where his money is going.
10. Keep perspective as others make more money - Many athletes who at the earlier stages of their career see more established players who are making considerably more money than they are. Some of them get enticed into spending more money than they are currently earning because they see other players getting cars, houses, clothes, etc. and they want the same things. But they don’t have the means to acquire them yet. Consequently, the younger players spend their money on lavish items rather than establishing a sound financial foundation. After the foundation has been established, then the athlete can spend on the items he really wants, but it doesn’t jeopardize his financial future.

* BTW I have a list of advisors who I consulted for this article that I can introduce any of you star athletes or star athletes in the making to.

by Mark Goulston and Doc Barham, Xtraordinary Outcomes

“When you use any of these words, how often do your regular employees that will be tasked with executing the details, start to salivate with enthusiasm and have a look that says, ‘Let me sink my teeth into that!’?” we asked one of our CEO clients.

He started to laugh and said, “Rarely.  In fact, a quarter of the people are looking at their Blackberrys or iPhones to check their messages.”

When you start to talk about any of these, if you can’t see how tentative your people’s smiles are, you are not observant.  If you don’t realize that even if they are smiling and nodding from the neck up (out of deference or fear of authority), they are not engaging from the neck down, you are not clued in.  Most likely you do notice, but these words are so much of your vocabulary, you can’t imagine using others.

Why are these words more likely to feel like nails on a chalkboard to your people than a call to action that excites and spontaneously enrolls them?

In a robust economy where people have emotional breathing room these words might be tolerated or even inspiring.  However in a tight economy where fear abounds consider some of the following that may be on their minds and be distracting them:

• “Will I still have a job in six months?”
• “If I lose my job, where will I go, who will hire me and (if I’m over 45) will I even be hirable?”
• “It’s easy for you to say because you have a golden or silver parachute or a severance package that will give you months to breathe, while I would get two weeks pay and a ‘Goodbye and good luck’.”
• “It’s also easy for you to say, because you’re doing the ‘assigning’ and we will be stuck with the ‘doing’.”
• “You can go back to your office to work on ‘bigger’ issues and we will have to deal with the scarce resources and the lack of cooperation from other parts of our company to achieve what you’re telling us and if we’re in sales, having to come up with a new way to twist the arms of our new and current clients and customers who just want to say, ‘No’.”
• “We talked about these things last year.  Whatever happened to those?”
• “Neither we nor you know specifically or exactly what you mean by those words – most of us don’t even know the difference between vision and mission — and when we work hard to achieve what you want and you then tell us we did the wrong thing, you have no idea how demoralizing that is.”
• “I have a parent or a child or a spouse or a marriage that is falling through the cracks and I’m drinking more, so thank you for something more to add to my ‘to do list’ that is already not getting done.”

Then consider what those seven words have in common:

• They are abstract and leave too much to the imagination.  Imagination –> Misperception –> Misinterpretation –> Missed Execution.
• They require a forward cognitive bias, meaning they require people to look into their future, whereas the majority of people especially when anxious they have a reverse cognitive bias, meaning that they react to things either positively or negatively after they have happened.*

The main problem with using these seven words is that they result in an emotional, psychological and cognitive disconnect between leaders and regular employees right out of the gate when what you most need is something that connects leaders and employees.

One word that seems to connect both leaders and employees is: “outcomes.”  Built into that word is the implicit and explicit understanding and agreement that effective actions lead to good outcomes; ineffective actions lead to poor outcomes.  Also “outcomes” is different than “goals” or “objectives” especially when it comes to performance review time where compensation and promotions are being considered.  During those reviews you are much less rated on your goals or objectives than on your outcomes.

* Find out more about forward and reverse cognitive biases and how to get through to people by getting into their thinking at the video: “Change Your Thinking Forever in 8 Minutes”

Here is just one example of the how this process can work well for you to get through to absolutely anyone.

From “Resistant to Doing” to “Listening” – Get them to open their arms in their minds

Remember the line in the children’s song, “The hip bone’s connected to the thigh bone?” Well your body posture in your mind is connected to your actual body posture.  People who are “Resistant to Doing” have their arms crossed and eyes looking at the ceiling communicating, “No way,” either in actuality or in their minds.  If you get them to uncross their arms and look at you instead of crossing their arms or looking at the ceiling in reality or in their minds, they will start to listen to and be open to what you say.

To do that, ask the other person questions about what they’re looking for or want or need and then:

1. Recreate what they said to the word by saying, “So you’re saying that what you are looking for (or want) is…..”  After you do that they will not be offended that you are mimicking them, but actually continue on.  As they begin to explain they will uncross their arms, because they will begin to attach some emotion to what they are saying.

2. As they speak remember what words they have a higher (and more emotional) inflection on. That is often attached to words showing hyperbole such as “never,” “always,” “impossible,” “if only.” Then reply with, “Say more about _____ (the emotionally laden words).”  At that point, they will start to use their hands to emphasize what they are saying, because words alone are not enough and they will begin to be open to what you say next.

3. After they say what they have to say, reply with, “Really!” with genuine enthusiasm in your voice and encouragement to them to keep speaking.

This will often result in the other person being more open to continuing to listen to you.  Try the above and see if it helps.

* If you try it and want to receive live personalized group coaching limited to five people with Dr. Goulston, additional and separate “Get Through NOW” Mastermind groups for managers and for sales people are now forming.  See special offer below.

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER!

As one of Dr. Goulston’s newsletter subscribers (sign up at NEWSLETTER SIGNUP at upper right) and for a limited time only, you will receive a discounted rate of $350/month if you sign up to join the live, twice monthly, one hour groups limited to five people now forming for a three month commitment.  That is instead of the customary group rate of $500/month or Dr. Goulston’s individualized hourly coaching rate of $750/hr.

SPECIAL OFFER DETAILS

Additional resources:

• “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone that recently beat out Steve Jobs and Blink! for Business and Investing at Audible Audiobooks.  Previously it reached #1 in China, Germany and Six Kindle business related categories.
• Catch This Week in Start Ups video with host Jason Calacanis interviewing Dr Goulston (reviewer: “I’m only about 10 minutes into the video and have to say that this is one of the most thought compelling videos i have seen on the interwebs.”)
• Hear Dr. Oz’s recent interview with Dr. Goulston on Oprah radio

Too often however, the best-laid plans of mice and CEO’s goes nowhere because they have skipped the step of gaining buy in from the people who will ultimately execute the plan. Without buy in, these people don’t have enough of a stake to sustain their motivation through the entire length of a project. As soon as it becomes too frustrating, they begin to falter, often with the same justification that adolescents offer their parents: “It wasn’t my idea.” In other words, “Don’t expect me to keep trying when things becomes hard.”

What works better in the case of your people and teenagers is to follow the adage: “People try harder at what they want to do than at what other people want them to do.” In other words, if you want people to participate in moving your company forward, find a way to include them in the decision of how to do it.

You can do that by giving your top decision makers and department heads — who will serve as representatives from their area — the following POP Quiz. In this case, POP stands for whatever your company needs to do in order to “pop” forward into a more successful future.

Give the following quiz to your top decision makers and have your department heads give it to their people. What follows are the answers provided by a senior VP of sales in a company that sells computer peripherals.

POP Quiz

What do you see as the top three opportunities for increasing revenue to our company?

1. Increase follow up and service to our most satisfied and best customers and so exceed their expectations that they will spontaneously recommend us to their friends.

2. Be contrite, don’t make excuses, offer some restitution, correct the problem, and exceed the expectations of our disgruntled customers so that our humility and graciousness exceeds their expectations.

3. Determine who most urgently wants our services/products because they will gladly pay for them if they find out we have them.

What is your evidence that these opportunities actually exist (vs. pie in the sky, wishful thinking)?

Offered specific instances of the above being true.

What are the top three obstacles that prevent our company from taking advantage of these opportunities?

1. Poor follow up with satisfied and disgruntled clients/customers.

2. No systematic way to do the above on a regular basis. We need to make it one of our core values that we all practice.

3. Various people in management don’t practice the above with subordinates so you’re asking people to do something that isn’t practiced with them. Hypocrisy!

What do you see as three ways to save money in our company? Money that we’ll be able to redirect to taking advantage of our opportunities?

1. Get orders right the first time.

2. Follow up with customers and clients at the point when they should have started using our service/product and see if it delivers what we promised it would and what they’d suggest to make it better or other positive things we might point out to subsequent clients or customers that they have discover.

3. Track the effectiveness of marketing and PR campaigns. We need to know what, if, and how spending in those areas generates sales.

What is your evidence that doing these things will save money?

When we have practiced the above it saves money. Again, provided instances of the above.

What are the top three obstacles that prevent our company from doing these things to save money?

1. Inertia.

2. We need to see small subunits of our company embracing new ways of doing things and have it spread organically and virally, rather than trying to get the whole company to change at once.

3. People who will follow up and hold each other accountable long enough until changes become ingrained.

Most importantly (and be as specific as possible), who would need to do more of what (to take advantage of opportunities to increase revenue) and stop doing what (to save money). These should all be reasonable (i.e. make sense and be in keeping with overall mission of your company to becoming more successful and profitable) and realistic (i.e. doable). In other words, don’t suggest things that are patently unreasonable or impossible.

Identifying the specific people who will implement 1-6 above and what other things they will need to stop doing in order to implement them.

It may be best to have an independent outside consultant collect the results and distill them into a list of do’s and don’ts for the company moving forward. To facilitate this, the consultant should be given full authority by the CEO or principal decision maker to do this. Then the consultant should meet with each of the other top decision makers and department heads with the initial agenda of earning their trust and confidence.

Usable Insight: The greater the “buy in” the greater the “trying.”

Whenever your pre-teen or teenage kid has screwed up, teaching them a lesson after the fact isn’t exactly the easiest task.

One of the best ways to avoid that is to use the “side by side” technique I’ve described in my about to be published book, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (AMACOM, Sept. 15, 2009).

Do this while driving in the car (where you’re both looking forward instead of engaged in one of those face to face lectures that they can’t stand) or engaged in some activity or errand to “buffer” the conversation.

If it’s a pre-teen/middle schooler and they’ll still engage with you, say: “How can you tell which one of your friends is most likely to go too far and get in big trouble?”

They may smell a rat and say: “What?”

If so, continue with: “Yeah, I was just wondering which of your friends is likely to go too far this year, because if they do and you’re their friend, you might get pulled in to help them out.  It might be helpful to know which one and what they might do, so you can be ready.  I mean isn’t that what friends are for?”

You don’t start to lecture them or tell them to avoid that friend.  Doing it this way is a way of helping them develop judgment about “going too far” and that doing so has consequences.

If they tolerate that question, ask them next: “While we’re on the topic of what’s coming up, how do you tell the difference between a class you need to stay up to date on and one you can kind of get away with doing stuff at the last minute?”  This again helps sow the seeds for their developing the capacity for anticipation and for judgment.

You can use a similar approach with a wide variety of questions.

And if you’re dealing with a teenage high schooler (or even one in college) who doesn’t want any advice and says, “Just leave me alone!” (Know any who fit that description?) here is something you might try to that again leverages a future that they haven’t screwed up.

Say to them: “As you go through high school or college, your mom/dad and I can deal with you in one of two ways.  In the first way, we can leave you  alone, including waking you up, getting on your back about homework (this won’t work with an intrusive micromanaging parent), making introductions for you to people (tutors, friends who can give you a job, etc.) that can help you succeed and get ahead.  You might actually prefer learning from your successes and failures and feel you’ve done it all by yourself.  In the second way, we can put both feet in and do any and everything we can do to help you become successful and happy in life. However if we do that, you can’t talk to us disrespectfully, tell us to “shut up” or swear at us, and if we do set up opportunities for you with people outside, you have to keep us posted on what you’re doing so those people don’t think you’re a flake.”

Good luck. Your kids’ adolescence can be a bumpy ride.

****

P.S. If you like these kind of tips, I think you will like “Just Listen” and hope you’ll check it out and spread the word to your friends.

P.P.S. If you missed my FREE American Management Association webcast, “The Simple Secret to Getting Through to Difficult People” that had 1700+ attendees, you can catch it at: AMA webcast.

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