The Website of Dr. Mark Goulston

Q: Technology makes your life easier. That’s a bunch of B.S. I hate email! I can’t do without it and I’m up to my ears in it and falling further behind by the day. Any way to get in control of it?

A: If you make and take the time to use all the features of Microsoft Outlook or other popular contact management software, it will save you time later. If you’re not one to take the time and learn it on your own, try one of the many courses available in your area.

Orange County-based Jerry Bame coaches and mentors lawyers to make their lives less miserable and advises them to deal with email by hiring someone to screen it, discard what is irrelevant and file what matters so it easy to retrieve and deal with. He even says you can bill your clients for time in having someone read and file their emails.

If it’s just you and your email without the luxury of someone screening it, you can train the people who email you by sending them an email that says: “Your email is important to me and to make sure it gets my attention, please put in the subject heading and of the following: referred by (give a name of person I know who referred you), a ( …._) question (that should be relevant to what I do), a thank you, an apology (or you can pick whatever you want them to say that spammers won’t know). Over time you should begin to receive emails only from people you want to contact you.

Now here’s the kicker, you need to discipline yourself to stop being seduced by what’s interesting (but distracting), to delete it, and then to focus on what’s important. If all else fails, just stop looking at or responding to emails altogether. If someone wants you badly enough, they’ll call you, but dealing with voice mail is another column.

Look Back to Look Forward

Q: I have been in the work force for 10 years and have had four different jobs. I am fortunate because I have enough skills that I can usually find a job and don’t want to sound like a whiner when so many people have trouble holding onto a job. My problem is that I don’t know what kind of work I want to do. Is there anything I can do to either make my present job more enjoyable or if I leave — since I’m getting itchy feet — or find a job that will make me happier for a long time?

A: Yes, you are whining. Nevertheless, I’m in a benevolent mood today so I’m not going to say something such as, “Stop being such a baby and appreciate what you do have compared to so many that are having a tough time.” No, I’m not going to say that, because that would be ungracious and ill-mannered. Try this. Print out your schedule and then place green check mark next to every activity or meeting or interaction with someone that gives you energy and leaves you wanting to do it again soon. Then put a red check next to those activities/meetings/people that suck the life out of you and cause you to need to take a break afterwards to grab a smoke, go off your diet, or just go into your office and want to pull your hair out and scream, “Aagh!!” Those are the kinds of things that you’re not to keen to doing again in the near future. Over time this will help you be aware of what you like and dislike and then when it comes time for a review (or your next job) – and presuming that you’re so darn hirable – speak to your boss or your next boss and tell them what activities you’ve discovered will cause you to be most productive and get the best results for them. If you can make that kind of case, you may be allowed to customize your job so it’s more satisfying. Of course, if you’d rather just whine, ignore what I just said and hopefully some other reader will find it useful. Hmm, this whining thing is contagious. I just started doing it.

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Mark Goulston is a Santa Monica-based management and leadership adviser and author of “Get Out of Your Own Way at Work…and Help Others Do the Same.” Visit him at: http://markgoulston.com and e-mail your questions to mgoulston@markgoulston.com.

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