Usable Insight Blog

getout1cover
Posted on July 13th, 2014 by Mark Goulston

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anger-management-manchester
Posted on July 13th, 2014 by Mark Goulston

Q: What is the quickest way to let go of your anger?

A: Pause and ask yourself, “What’s it like for the other person right now?” You will discover that you cannot be angry (a motor action out at the world reacting after a real or perceived personal hurt, insult, etc.) and empathic (a sensory experience) at the same time.  That’s because you can’t walk in another person’s shoes and step on their toes at the same time.  Of course, if you like feeling angry and self-righteous, you’re not going to want to make things better.

Wouldn’t you agree?

Please share your comments below.

 

 

prsnlrspnsblty
Posted on July 6th, 2014 by Mark Goulston

In today’s world of blame and finger-pointing, we’re teaching our kids that accountability and responsibility are slippery slopes that don’t mean what they used to. For example, have you witnessed a parent-teen conversation that went anything like this:

Read the rest of this entry »

divorce-lawyer-for-men
Posted on July 6th, 2014 by Mark Goulston

Q: What causes divorce?

A: Lack of mutually agreed on code of conduct that may not stop all differences or opinions before they become disagreements, but will stop any disagreements from escalating into an argument, fight, ultimatum, war and game over.

And… why don’t couples agree to it? Because when something happens that one or the other (or both) person(s) disagrees with or doesn’t like something the other person said or did, all bets (and agreements) are off.

And… why do you become involved with such a person? Because “when you’re in love smoke gets in your eyes (and brain).”

And… why don’t couples discuss in more detail how each feels about and what are the deal breakers regarding: children (number and how to raise them), money (attitudes and spending habits), sex (who wants more), emotional closeness (who needs more), where live, buying home, parents, friends, religion, etc. Because “when you’re in love smoke gets in your eyes (and brain).”

And… finally, if one or the other of you believes the above is b.s., then when you’re upset, you’re the one that can’t deal with things calmly to prevent them from escalating past disagreement (and you may likely have a personality disorder).

Wouldn’t you agree?

Please share your comments below.