Confidence vs. Arrogance - Are you listening Hillary and Barack?
Arrogance is being a “know-it-all” and never thinking you don’t,
Confidence is knowing all of it and when you don’t, asking
Arrogance comes from not really knowing (or even caring) what is in the best interest of another person, but believing your brilliance, charm, charisma and when needed, chutzpah, will win the day.
Confidence comes from really knowing what truly is in the best interest of another person – even when they may not –and standing up to anyone, including them to make sure they get it.
Oftentimes when I see a married couple who are locked in a “he said, she said” dance of death that goes nowhere, I will let them each verbally punch themselves out before I tell them: “You are here because as a couple you violated your wedding vows to love, honor and cherish each other and replaced it with the display that I have just seen. As long as you are in my domain, you will speak to each other respectfully, give each other the benefit of the doubt and not bait or abuse the other, shut down or leave the room. If either of you tries that, you will face me, the guardian of your vows, and you will lose. Do either of you have a problem with that?”
Is that being confident or arrogant? I guess it’s in the ear of the beholder, so you choose.
Nearly all couples I see respond with relief that someone will intervene in rather than tolerate their craziness.
© 2008 Mark Goulston
If you or someone you know or care about “gets in your or their own way,” please join me for my free March 11, 9-10 AM PST webinar: Succeed in Your Career: Step 1 – Get Out of Your Own Way and Help Others Do the Same
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