Usable Insight – Get People to Pursue You
If you get where others
are coming from
and where they want to go,
people will come.
It’s much less important what you tell people, than what you get them to tell you. If you get them to tell you what’s on their minds and in their hearts, and they feel you get where they’re coming from, they are more likely to let you take them to where you want them to go.
When you and a prospective customer or client first meet, the playing field is level. As soon as you sell or try to convince them of anything, the power shifts to them. The key is to keep them pursuing you right out of the gate. The secret to this is to get them talking to you by inviting them into a conversation rather than challenging them with questions that might put them on the defensive or trying to sell them directly which might turn them off.
To accomplish this, start out your “pitch” to a potential client with:
“You’re thinking of hiring (or buying this product or service from) me or someone like me, because you’re wanting to ________________(then be quiet and listen).”
This starts the conversation in the right direction by attracting them towards you rather than pushing yourself on them because:
a. Starting with a statement feels collaborative; starting with a question feels confrontative and people often instinctually react negatively.
b. “Hiring me or someone like me” expresses their unspoken intention and giving them the choice of someone else causes them to feel less hit upon or cornered by you. When you articulate people’s unspoken statements, they immediately think to themselves, “Yes, yes — that’s why I’m here meeting with you.” They are then drawn to what you are going to say next because it feels compelling to be known by you without their having to put forth any effort.
c. “Wanting to accomplish” is much more positive and intentional than “trying to” which implies having to work harder or “needing to” which implies a subservient position that might offend.
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May 7th, 2009 at 10:26 am
As usual, quite insightful, Dr. G. You have captured the essence of Taoist rainmaking. As the years go on, I find the less I say, the more business I get. I’ve also learned not to be bothered by this fact.
May 9th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Once again, Dr. G, great post! One question, though: How does one know when you are “pushing” someone verus “attracting” someone when trying to help a client understand a certain policy or procedure? Thanks, as always, for sharing your insights.