Usable Insight – So you think you care?
The more questions you ask someone before you offer a solution, the more you care about understanding their problem;
The more questions you ask someone about matters important to them, but out of your area of specialization or even interest, the more you care about them.
How do you distinguish yourself in a transactionally myopic (find the deal, do the deal, next deal) world where the more you treat people as a deal to be made, the more they will view you as a commodity to be squeezed on price?
Do this by listening to what the other person wants. Next move the conversation into what they want to accomplish that is important to them this year (which may or may not be related to their first answer). Finally ask them how they came to pick that as important and what it would mean to them to achieve that.
Then find a way to help them make that happen. Even if you lose their business, you may be able to refer them to someone who can help them, who will in turn think of you when one of their clients need what you do.
If you really want to get through to people, you’ll discover that it is less important what you tell them. Rather it is what you enable them to tell you that reveals what is most important to them and that you proceed to help them with.
If you agree with this, my about to published book, “Just Listen” Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absoulutely Anyone, will show you how to make that happen.
I hope you’ll check it out. You can even pre-order it at a hefty discount. And if you like it, it would mean a lot to me for you to get the word out about it to your friends, family, colleagues at work and mailing lists.
Finally if you enjoy my Usable Insights, I hope you will join me for my free August 26 9-10 AM PST, 12-1 PM EST webcast for the American Management Association on: “The Simple Way to Get Through to Difficult People.”
Tags: communication, listening, mark goulston
August 10th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I have ordered your soon to be published book and look forward to an excellent and educational read! Congratulations on another fine book, I am sure!
/s/ Gary Peacock
August 11th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I agree 1000%.
The more I listen and allow my clients to tell me their story, and their feelings about their story, the better the outcome for them and for me.
My experience has been that anytime I try to offer pat answers to general questions people think of me as the purveyor of a commodity.
I help them to understand that the path to the outcome they hope for is very different from the path others have chosen. When I am successful at this they then feel safe to share how they feel about what we are trying to accomplish.
We then move from commodity documents to custom planning.
I can’t wait to read your new book.
August 12th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Great Insight. I am looking forward to your book, if it has half the insight you render on your Blog it will be a runaway best seller !!