Usable Insight – Twitter at your own risk
The second most painful truth in life is that everything you do, counts;
the most painful truth in life is that everything you have already done, counts.
Maybe what goes in Vegas, stays in Vegas, But what goes on the Internet, goes everywhere and stays there forever.
Since disconnectedness causes more problems than connectedness, the good probably does outweigh the bad when it comes to social networking via Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, MySpace and beyond.
But beware (and you especially may want to tell this to your children), whatever you put up on the Internet becomes viewable to anyone, anytime, anywhere. The more immature – and exhibitionistic –your personality, the more likely you will put anything you choose, up anywhere you please. When questioned, you will reply: “Oh everyone is doing it” or (if you’re really immature) “If it feels good and it’s not hurting anyone else, what’s wrong?”
Guess what? It’s hurting you.
Why? Because anyone who may decide to accept you into their school, college or community and anyone considering hiring you, will increasing look you up on the web wherever you are. And among the things they will be looking for are common sense and judgment. Anyone who puts up information that screams, “Look at me!” may not be someone schools, colleges and jobs believe will be able to put that aside to focus on what is important to them.
A close friend of mine used to interview just out of law school applicants for her law firm. Her favorite question: “Tell me about yourself?”
What was she looking for? Not your hobbies, friendships or family stories (is she wanted to find out about those, she’d ask specifically about them). She was looking to see if you had the judgment to realize that you’re being hired to help a law firm be more successful, and looking for answers that would set you up to succeed rather than fail.
The most damaging and insidious cost of “twittering” away your life is that joining one of those sites and attracting hundreds, if not thousands of followers or contacts (BTW I am not one to speak, since I have many such on those sites) can give you figuratively and literally a “contact” high. And that can become addictive.
What’s wrong about that? Having all that buzz about you or connected to you can make you feel like a “somebody.” The problem is that in most of our jobs and even intimate relationship we can easily begin to feel less special, more like an “anybody” than a “somebody.” And as several people I know have confided, “When you go from feeling like a ’somebody’ to feeling like an ‘anybody,’ you feel like a ‘nobody’.” At that point you can become distracted, irritable and thinking only of your next “Blackberry fix.” If the coin of the realm in life is giving our undivided (non-multitasked) attention to the people we care about at work and at home, our addiction to Twitter et al is rapidly bankrupting the quality in our relationships.
I’ve heard something attributed to Marilyn Monroe was that when everyone adores you, but nobody knows you, you can die of loneliness. The same might be said that when you’re connected to everybody, you’re connected to nobody.
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Tags: mark goulston, twitter
April 26th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
Sir:
“Since disconnectedness causes more problems than connectedness,” This lead is patently wrong! Holding back from jumping into a social web site is unlikely to lead to problems, in my opinion. I look at Facebook and am at a loss at how joining that could posibly be helpful in any way. What is it that compells you to distribute your usual wisdom in what I see as carelessly?
/s/ Gary Peacock
April 26th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
It really is a plus minus, as are most decisions in life. One certainly can resist the social networking tide and be better off safe than sorry, but then on can also become isolated. I think it comes down to a matter of discernment. I have to admit I do sometimes balance precariously on the edge of discernment vs. being indiscriminate.
I agree with you that Facebook may seem the least beneficial to grown adults, but since I have joined I am amazed at the people who have reconnected to me that for a lack of a better term, fell through the cracks. Re-connecting with them — in a more informal way (vs. linkedin which seems much more about business) appears to provide some opportunity for re-developing some of those relationships.
Thank you for being one of my most loyal and “objective” critics. I appreciate the negative as well as the positive responses from you and learn from both.
April 26th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Just as we learned to manage the pitfalls of email (if you’re more than 40 you know what I mean) we can learn to manage social media. Social media is going to change until it resolves into a useful, daily tool just like email.
Life is becoming more transparent, even in the HR department; kids get that. Too much emphasis on the traditional which is sliding into the background at the speed of the internet. Just my thought -
April 26th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
mark,
As always, your wisdom is insightful. I recently joined Facebook and decided to keep my business contacts off this site. You are a friend and an exception to this rule.
April 27th, 2009 at 1:03 am
Mark, your cautions about allowing social networking to become addictive and being a way to disclose information that may haunt you might well be required warning labels or at least information conveyed by parents and educators. In addition there was recently a study reported from Ohio State that indicates half-point differential in grade point average between users and non-users of Facebook. This is not to say online ties cannot be valuable and ones that would not come about any other way. My days of doing this go back to the early 80s as a sysop on CompuServe. So as the ancient Greek Anaxagorus said, “Overdo nothing.”
October 29th, 2009 at 3:04 am
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